How do I say goodbye?

It seems as though someone very near and dear to me has enlisted into the Army. My 17 year old nephew Alex was sworn in yesterday at the MEPS station here in Knoxville. I cant help but think that I'm the one to blame. Sure he says it's what he wants to do and his parents and family support him, but if I hadn't been so close to him and enlisted into the Marine Corps in 2006, I don't think he would have joined. Alex and I were always very close. I moved in with my sister Leslie, her husband Paul, and Alex when I was 18. My sister offered me a place to stay after living in a drug and sex infested world that would have surely killed me. To this day I owe them for taking me in and cleaning me up. But was their sacrifice something that they would have to pay for through their son? While living in the same house, Alex and I made a bond that could never be broken. He enhanced my love for video games as I taught him the cruel but funny world of sarcasm and humor. We hang out all the time. When I was able to drive, I always asked him if he wanted to come with me on my errands. We would blast the heavy rock music and sing every verse. We were best friends. Even though he was a few years younger than me, Alex was always mature for his age. He knew his place and didn't step the bounds in certain conversations but would give his 2 cents whenever asked. I worked alongside of Leslie and Paul doing residential construction. After being there over a year, the boss told us that he was ending the company. We all were frantic in looking for work and for some reason I was lead to the local recruiters office. I had a friend join the Marine Corps and two other friends join the Army so I thought it may be the right thing for me to do. Doing JROTC while in high school always put the military in my mind but in a distant point of my mind. I decided that if I were going to join the military, I was going to join the most ruthless branch. The United States Marine Corps. I enlisted in May and was sent to Paris Island in August where hell awaited me. 13 weeks of pure mental and physical exhaustion was my life until I graduated in November. Who was the one that was running to see me on the parade deck? Alex. I had instilled something in him that I could never take back. After 4 years of being away from my family, I finally came home. Even after coming home, my sister still had her door open for me. I moved back in to find my friend had grown taller than me and was wittier than me. I loved it. This led to us having even more in common and we hung out even more. If we weren't watching TV or YOUTUBE videos, we were playing online games with one another. However, I began to see his love for the military. He was very knowledgeable in different weapons, tactics, and gear. This alarmed me, but I shoved it to the back of my mind. "He's too smart to join the military. Especially after I told him some of the horrible things that can come from it", I thought to myself. December of 2010, I became engaged to the woman I am married to today. I moved out of my sister's house and we live about 10 minutes down the road. I still think it's too far from Alex. Now that he got a job and he's in his senior year of high school, we don't always have time to see each other. It saddens me beyond measure. He has grown into a smart, and amazing man. Did I set the course for his future? Am I to blame for what he has done? I will blame myself for this. I know he's a big boy and he is aware of the decisions he is making, but would he had made these decisions if I weren't around? Now I feel as if time is running out. Once August hits, I wont be able to drive 10 minutes to see him anymore. He'll be in a different state, learning to be all that he can be. He's going to put his life on the line for a people that don't know or care for him. I hope and pray that the Lord watches over him. When the time comes for him to leave, will I be able to actually say goodbye? I don't want to. Alex has been one of my closest friends for many years and I don't want to see him go. If you don't know what kind of person I am, my sisters and friends would be able to tell you. Heartless, Fearless, Mean, Cruel, Hateful. I cried today. Something I haven't done in years. I don't want to lose my best friend. I don't want to live my life without him. But I must. I have to let him do what he wants to do with his life. But I keep asking myself one question. How do I say goodbye?